I can't believe how quickly we were able to raise 450 to bring our and 9 other Molly Bears home. I know it's just a Teddy Bear but I also believe that this bear is going to be a significant part of our healing and in memorializing Katherine in years to come. I am so incredibly thankful by the people that shared their love and support in this way not only to us but to 9 other families. 9 other families will be receiving their Molly Bears with an in "Honor of ....' cards included with the bear. It is a fulfilling feeling knowing that I helped bring 10 comfort bears to families that need them.
I am sitting here with anticipation now, dreaming of what our bear is going to look like, how the volunteers are going to incorporate pink and purple colors, and how does one actually embroider a caterpillar on a teddy bears tummy? What I am also thinking about is how Carl and I can possibly continue to help other families that have lost an infant and in the process share with them Christ's love.
I won't lie, I've had many ups and downs in my short 31years of life. Katherine is not my first significant loss either but her death alone has brought about serious questions about God. Questions that, I thought the answers I had before her death, were satisfied. I never thought that I would doubt, struggle, and wrestle to this extent with God again. I mean, the Lord and I have had some big tumbles in my lifetime I had hoped that by this point I would have grown more and been able to not question as much but I have and I am. What does this have to do with wanting to help other bereaved parents and share them the love of Christ? Well, I think the biggest thing is even though I have doubted, and that I am wrestling, I still see God's goodness, and mercy. I still see the sacrifice (maybe even more so now that I know what it feels like to lose a child) that God made giving up his son for humanities salvation. I still see the ways that God is taking care of us, providing for us, helping us in ways that we aren't worthy of or even deserve. I may be weak but God is strong.
So what are our ideas of how we can help other grieving families. Well, I've thought about just starting by what we did with Molly Bears. Raise money for the foundations that have aided us in our own grief. Possibly raise money for the Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep foundation which donated their photographer skills so that we can cherish a photo of our beautiful Katherine for as long as we live. As well as for foundations like Molly Bears that again aids in comforting grieving families with the gift of a weighted teddy bear. However, our biggest thought, maybe even dream right now, is one that would be to set up a memorial fund for Katherine in which the funds given towards it would go to help other grieving families pay for their children's funerals and/or their memorial headstones.
When Katherine died we knew that burying her was going to be costly. What we didn't know is that her memorial stone was going to be just as costly. Katherine is buried next to two other, currently unmarked, graves. Every time I visit my heart breaks that these two families that don't have a grave marker of any kind for their babies. While it could be true that they emotionally just don't want one placed; the realities of it really though are more likely that between living life, house, and car issues, they may not have the funds to shell out close to a $1000 or more to have a headstone or marker placed. I have been so thankful that we have a place that we can go to remember our beloved daughters short life. One of the only things that has brought me comfort when we visit her grave is knowing that her headstone is coming. I can't imagine not having her name etched in something to acknowledge her existence and her body's resting place. Mine and Carl's hearts have just been deeply pressed on to try to find a way to bring these other nameless graves their names and in the process share the love of Christ reminding these families....that God hears their cries and has counted their tears and has not forgotten about their babies.
Starting a foundation of any kind isn't easy but starting a foundation that takes and operates off of donations is especially difficult. We have to make sure that it gets done right and that people that donate get their "tax credit" so to speak, and that the foundation gets the proper paperwork etc filed. As we see where this dream of helping to provide for other grieving families will go, please pray with us.
No comments:
Post a Comment