Healing hurts

There was this episode on Grey's Anatomy this year (my guilty pleasure show to watch) that featured the healing process of a couple of burn victims. Even though they had been given some local anesthesia to "help" with the pain...the anesthesia wasn't enough to keep them from completely feeling it, the patients both screamed as dead skin was constantly being removed from new skin trying to form. These patients had to undergo this severe pain almost daily. Their "flesh" or what was left of it had to be kept clean to prevent infection, and other more deadly things from happening to them. For these two patients treatment went on for months....months..not just 1, or 2, but about 8 months before they could even talk with a plastic surgeon about how to best reconstruct the new skin for a more "pleasant appearance." On top of the initial trauma that was done to them in the event that caused their burns, they then had to face painful moment after painful moment, to inevitably still be left with scars from their traumas. Why do I write about this? Well, because this scene accurately describes the pain our hearts must endure and be allowed to endure in order for them to heal as well.

Many people face a trauma, and then just want to forget the emotional pain that has been done. They want to run, hide, stay as busy as possible, move on, whatever it may be to get their minds and ultimately their heart away from that which is hurting them emotionally. So what happens is the person learns to live with a limp, or an emotional crutch of some type.  Instead of truly diving deep into their pain,  or the layers of their trauma, we run and hide any way that we can. For to unmask the layers just as a surgeon does with a burn patient, causes pain that sometimes we don't even know was actually an issue. The truth of the matter is that true healing of the heart is going to bring some pain out.

I see a problem in our christian culture to quickly turn away from our pain when we encounter it. We lose those we love and we say "Do not grieve as those who have no hope" and interpret it as "Do not grieve for grieving must mean we have no hope." Or we are subconsciously told through well intentioned comments that "grieving with hope means posting a bible verse every day and not questioning or wrestling with God and his plan for you."  Somewhere in our christian existence I feel like we have almost forgotten that God knows that we are human and expects our human responses so that he can refine us, change us, and mold us more into his image. If we are denying ourselves to be human with God how can he change our hearts and conform us. How can he comfort us if we won't even be honest with him about what we are really hurting over. Yes, he ALREADY knows but there is the sheer act of engaging in a relationship that actually builds it over time. I may KNOW that my friend is having a difficult time with some area of her life but if I don't engage her in it, or if she doesn't open herself up to me how can I provide any insight, encouragement, or comfort?

So much of this just comes from a place of not wanting to truly deal with our pain. God is good, and we need to be trusting in HIM, his promises and his goodness, even when we are experiencing trial, but burying our pain deep inside isn't really changing us, it is just masking how we really feel about it.

I read a passage from Job today, something someone else posted on Facebook actually. The passage was this Job 40:3-5

"Then Job answered the Lord and said: “Behold, I am of small account; what shall I answer you? I lay my hand on my mouth. I have spoken once, and I will not answer; twice, but I will proceed no further.”

Then the person that shared this passage went on to say how we all need to be humble before the Lord in every circumstance the Lord gives to us. While I do not disagree with this particular thought or post at the same time I can't help but feel this person wasn't quite getting it. Job sought the Lord in the midst of his trial and circumstance, then Job questioned the Lord (gasp), the Lord then spoke to Job, Job was humbled and realized that God owed him no explanation and grew deeper in his faith as a result.  But I can't help but wonder if Job had not questioned, if he had not been honest with the Lord would God had still spoken to him, randomly, to teach him, build his faith, all while strengthening and encouraging his soul. It is often in the moments of wrestling, questioning, and bringing our human selves before God that God can then take us, love us, humble us and teach us.

If we are not willing to allow ourselves to deeply feel our pain and hurts in life how can we ever come to place of then allowing God to bring about true healing. A healing that, though not fully to be conceived until we are in heaven, can still bring about peace and comfort while here on earth.

The truth is just like a burn patient can not truly heal from their wounds without digging through layer of layer of burned skin neither can our hearts be truly healed without allowing Jesus to go through layer of layer of heartache. Healing hurts, it is painful, and sometimes debilitating in the process of coming to it, but if we are willing to do the hard work, to face the pain, and to allow Jesus to go wound by wound we can be changed and find it.